@dog_feelings: my ear. is inside out. and the human. is not home to fix it. i have put the household. on alert level. dark grey.
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@spcycucumber: I've been eating this memory foam for weeks now and I can't even remember why I'm still eating memory foam
@MarfSalvador: me: [sneaking out of a funeral] this is DEAD boring lol mourner: [whispering] hey where's the priest going
@TheBoydP: Not to brag but growing up my boys thought a unanimous decision meant whatever mom wants.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: me: am I awake or dreaming a giant dragonfly, setting down his tea cup: honestly idk what this is