@Gooooats: My Eight Year Old: Why do I have to learn cursive?
Me: Literally no reason at all.
@mattingebretson: I love how binge watching a tv show is now portrayed as a fun activity instead of an expression of deep emotional turmoil and depression
@stephenjmolloy: Scientists say that dinosaurs and humans didn't coexist but the makers of The Flintstones clearly dispute this so I'm not sure.
@JamieLinks: Have decided Twitter is like a good grandma. Makes dirty jokes, complains a lot, corrects your grammar, tells you who has died.
@eskimo_tekillya: I recently bought a corset to spice up my sex life. Once I've learned how to breathe in the damn thing I'll tell you how it worked out.
@ibid78: [eharmony] based on your responses, your perfect match is a trashcan..
[eharmony] ..full of raccoons
[me] omg I love raccoons