@Gooooats: My Eight Year Old: Why do I have to learn cursive?
Me: Literally no reason at all.
@LorieGZ: Mom: I called you bc I was watching a TV show & thought of you!
Me: Ya? What show?
My Mom (laughing): A show about Aliens!
Very funny Mom!
@withanewname: It's like these people at the liquor store have never seen somebody pay with this much change
@elle91: Looking at you, Jesus.
@fart: "i never metadata i didn't like" -NSA
@lisaxy424: I feel like my relationship with the Walking Dead started so great and we had some good times but now we’re only staying together for the kids.