@Gooooats: My Eight Year Old: Why do I have to learn cursive?
Me: Literally no reason at all.
@SondraDeeMe: If you have more than 4 kids I automatically refer to you as a hoarder.
@neiltyson: Never seen a bar fight break out while people are drinking wine. Beer, yes. Hard liquor, yes. But not wine.
@Kyle_Lippert: "Trump is a good businessman" He has a failed steak biz, a failed vodka biz & failed casinos. HOW DO YOU SCREW UP STEAK, VODKA & GAMBLING
@AimeeHelene1: Him: What? I couldn't understand you.
H: Damnit Aimee! Take the burrito out of your mouth!
@Afghan_Kushh: I put the 'extra vag' in extravaganza