@clarkekant: My electric toothbrush ran out of batteries so I had to brush with my acoustic.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AaronFullerton: Reading about how much Daniel Craig hates Bond is like The Pope Visiting Kim Davis all over again.
@Marlebean: NO, I will not come get candy from your van, Im not craz.. Oh cookies? Hmm. Double stuff?! You don't say! The white one w/ no windows? Sure!
@stephenjmolloy: HR: "You've put Kurt Russell down as an emergency contact." Me: "Yeah, I'd like to meet him before I die. Dude is a legend."