@clarkekant: My electric toothbrush ran out of batteries so I had to brush with my acoustic.
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@smint: Wearing 'EarPods' is my favorite way of making the rest of the world believe my verbal outbursts are part of a heated phone conversation.
@doktorj: Me: *pooping with the door open* Olive Garden Mgr: "I know what the slogan says ma'am, we aren't THAT kind of family."
@knot_eye: Dear Ad Agencies, Please stop using doorbells in your TV commercials. On behalf of dog owners everywhere, Thanks!