@clarkekant: My electric toothbrush ran out of batteries so I had to brush with my acoustic.
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@withanewname: [boarding plane with really old pilot] "think his heart will hold out? lol" attendent: excuse me, sir? "depart out, what time do we leave?"
@panmidwest: [waiter brings plate of seaweed wrapped sushi] ME-what do I do with this? W-eat it lol M-all of it? W-yes M-alright..[nervously bites plate]
@fivethirtyeight: Becoming hard to tell difference between credible news organizations like 4chan and troll sites like New York Post.