@KrunkedRobot: My email password has been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
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@BlACk__ThRoaT: When I'm home alone and I walk into the basement, I start talking out loud about all the karate I know.
@Darlainky: I replaced the spare tire in my car with a box of wine. I've no idea how to change a tire, & I bet I'll need a drink as I wait for a ride.
@goldengateblond: I've gained 20lbs since the election. If Trump stays in office much longer I'll have to chain myself to a girl in a gold bikini.