@KrunkedRobot: My email password has been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Book_Krazy: Hub: Did you eat all the nachos? Me: Noooo. I had one nacho. Hub: because they were stuck together? Me: LIKE I SAID, ONE NACHO!
@Gooooats: I accidentally typed my symptoms into IMDB instead of WebMD and it told me I have Gary Busey.
@thedailymarker: When you open your heart to someone, there is blood. Lots and lots of blood. And then you die. So don't open your heart.
@beefman138: *Wife busts me installing locks on man-cave door* Wife : Great idea! That will keep the kids out! Me : Uh... yeah. The kids.