@bourgeoisalien: My enemies are gonna be so sorry if I ever get out of this bean bag chair.
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@rutesperanza: If you use yahoo search engine, A really lonely nerd in his yahoo office frantically googles your request and then posts the results
@Thynebear: *queen points out window* "what's that flashing out the window?" "Lightning, My Queen" *car busts thru window* DID I HEAR LIGHTNING McQUEEN
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old daughter: Barbie is mad at Ken. *pushes their faces together* Me: Did they kiss and make up? 5: No. She headbutted him.
@TheCatWhisprer: The best thing about the first day at a new job is nobody knows I only have one outfit.