@bourgeoisalien: My enemies are gonna be so sorry if I ever get out of this bean bag chair.
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@StatusInBeirut: In the future: "So Zionists tried to take a people's home and said god gave it to them." "So what happened?" "Apparently god disagreed."
@SortaBad: College: Now that you're making tons of money with your degree, please donate back to us every year Me: lol College: lol ikr?
@Sugar_Pac: I'm not saying don't trust the internet, but there's an alarming discrepancy in the number of Ipads I've won & the number of Ipads I own.
@MummaCrazy: *Runs a bath Me: ok, jump in 3: it's too hot *Adds cold water Me: Ok, get in 3: it's too cold Apparently I gave birth to Goldilocks.