@bourgeoisalien: My enemies are gonna be so sorry if I ever get out of this bean bag chair.
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@Dong_Hanger: Oh you can bench 50 kilograms? I literally don't know if that's 100 pounds or a billion.
@yerpalmildsauce: How did you get those horrible burns? *flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire.
@Thrill_Tweeter: Hearing deteriorates as we get older. So why with every new year does the sound of someone eating become louder & more annoying?
@fluffysuse: If it's your imperfections that make you beautiful, I'm pretty sure I should be a supermodel.