@bourgeoisalien: My enemies are gonna be so sorry if I ever get out of this bean bag chair.
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@lloydrang: The New York Post publishes rumours about Dwayne Johnson. He sues for defamation and wins. Rock beats paper. And the crowd goes wild.
@QwertyJones3: Wife: You're so lucky, I'm like a trophy wife! Me: Wow, I'd hate to see what they gave to the second place guy.
@GaryJanetti: Before you tell me anything about your kid you should know I'm going to mentally leave my body.
@wendchymes: I saw a woman using a pay phone today and that probably means she's from the future & trying to blend in but she got the year wrong, right?