@holymolynicole: My ex didn't realize 'cheat day' only meant he could eat whatever FOOD he wanted.
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@Bagyants: It's convenient for my password security needs that my mother's maiden name is Waffles4%
@GrandadJFreeman: In 1911: Dracula used to drink virgin girls blood ... In 2012: he died of hunger.
@courtneyno: The light above my desk is going out. I feel like I've been at a really boring rave for the last 7 hours.
@eminmien: "What do you get if you cross a monkey and a lion?" I glance nervously over to the basement door, afraid she's seen something she shouldn't.