@holymolynicole: My ex didn't realize 'cheat day' only meant he could eat whatever FOOD he wanted.
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@stockejock: When life hands you gators, make Gatorade...just kidding-that means life hates you because the gators would totally kill and eat you 1st.
@ReneeHooray: Playboy's decision to keep models clothed comes weeks after McDonald's decision to serve breakfast all day.
@LurkAtHomeMom: Nobody has to pee more than a small child who has just put on 10 lbs of snow gear.
@MidlifeDish: "This is the last time I'm going to tell you!" *Biggest lie parents tell kids "And I mean it." *Biggest lie parents tell themselves