@scottthetwat: My ex GF turned out to be anorexic. Gradually I just saw less and less of her.
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@Reverend_Scott: WIFE: Why is the zoo calling us about a missing coyote? ME: [bleeding profusely] So... not a dog
@HiddenPinky: The limerick writers on Twitter Can be justifiably bitter The limited length Is weakness, not strength And throws our last lines down the sh