@TitansHomer: My ex girlfriend has a tattoo of a shell on her inner thigh. If you put your ear to it you can smell the ocean.
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@stockejock: Pretty much the most frightening part of my day is when I get a notification that my mother has tagged me in a post on Facebook.
@samalmightysam: You're born, you grow up, have kids, Mick Jagger is still alive, you die, your kids have kids, Mick Jagger is still alive......
@weinerdog4life: Old cordless phones, for when you really need to be on the phone, but also need to sword fight the cat.