@Breadery: My ex got engaged at Christmas but apparently responding to the news with "LOL" is "a representation of everything that is wrong with me."
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@Black__Elvis: For years I thought that my wife was repulsed by me but as it turns out she just doesn't put out on the first marriage.
@PFitzpa: I've got to go guys. Yesterday I bought a new shampoo that's supposed to change my life.
@djdarrellripley: Him: How does my football throw look to you? Me: Like you're good at science...