@Breadery: My ex got engaged at Christmas but apparently responding to the news with "LOL" is "a representation of everything that is wrong with me."
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@shawnspree: Banned an 80 year old man for life from attending NBA games. What's that? Like maybe 10 years?
@HeSlimedMeRay: It's "aisle" not "isle." If someone's on the "alcohol isle" that means they're in Jamaica, not at the grocery store.
@Twtercide: 6 yo: *yells* Mom! I'm on level 18!!!! Me: *peeks in room* PAGE 18, princess. You're reading. 6 yo: Oh