@ColoradoCrow: My ex is fat!!! Yay...I win!!!
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@kamweru_: Saw a guy steal a car using a hanger so I did what any normal person would do, walked up to him & asked "You that guy from Grand Theft Auto?
@XplodingUnicorn: The fastest person on earth isn't Usain Bolt. It's any parent with a toddler who just said they have to poop.
@jonnysun: men r from mars , women r frm venus , neither are capable of reproducton or space travel so species dies out [RECALIBRATE SIMULATION?] <Y/N>
@jimmytorosian: Avril Lavigne: He was a boy. She was a girl. Can I make it any more obvious? Me: Yes you could. That is incredibly vague.