@mindintheshadow: My ex is looking for a job but I don't think satan is retiring anytime soon so I suppose she'll be unemployed for a while.
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@Jandalize: Sometimes it's hard to nap at work. Like, when the boss is standing beside you or when you don't have a job.
@Fat_Jalbert: [cop car] Buzzfeed Guy: It's okay I work for Buzzfeed Cop: You robbed 10 banks Buzzfeed Guy: You wouldn't believe how much I got from #6!
@OhNoSheTwitnt: "I mean if you do the math the most weight I can really gain from the pound of pumpkin pie I ate tonight is only one pound" I thought fatly.