@Vice_Queen: My ex is such a loser that if there was a competition for the world's biggest loser, he'd still only win 2nd place.
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@k_lli: I carpool with a guy & we have officially run out of things to talk about. Today he commented on how well-made the road was. I agreed.
@TheAmecha: Congrats, you've been selected for the job Me: Whats the salary? 10k now and will increase to 25k later Me: Ok then, I will come later
@Travon: "Hey Hillary what color do you think this dre-- never mind" - Bill Clinton scrolling through Twitter last night