@TampaBayMomma: My ex left me for an attorney. It makes me smile every day to know he hasn't won an arguement for 15 years.
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@brennadine: CUT, CUT!! [Music stops] LOOK IT'S A WESTERN MUSICAL [Rubs temples] YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE COWBOY HAT ON- [Cat runs off] Meow!
@ruinedpicnic: [Terrorist tears open undercover FBI agent's jacket] Terrorist: FBI? Agent: uhhh Terrorist: hey guys this dude is a Female Body Inspector
@AbbyHasIssues: 1. Rage against the machine. 2. Check to make sure machine is plugged in. 3. Apologize to the toaster for the misunderstanding.
@SethMacFarlane: Hey online media: "Comfortability" isn't a word. The noun you're looking for is "comfort." And it doesn't need you to give it a fancy hat.