@chagger73: My ex told me I'd never find another woman like her. nnI don't think she was expecting the high 5 and happy dance I did right after.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: No thanks, haunted houses. I can walk down the street at night being terrified some man is going to jump out at me for free.
@bigmacher: No, I'm not telling my wife the reason we need a new blender is because I didn't remove the pit from the avocado, that's between us.
@TheRolo: *Stands in wood & sets self on fire* "OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I want to look hot on tinder.