@craiguito: My ex used to say there was one person for everyone. I didn't realise he planned to be that person
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@funnybeachgirl: Friday night plans *break into plastic surgeon's office *put goldfish in the silicone implants *sneak away undetected *giggle like a maniac
@briangaar: Happy 30th birthday Super Mario Bros. To celebrate, I'm going to eat mushrooms, punch a brick wall & set a turtle on fire.
@3sunzzz: Neighbor: Your dog barks a lot. Me: Isn't your kid the one that plays her recorder outside every summer? N: So? M: So, I can't help you.