@craiguito: My ex used to say there was one person for everyone. I didn't realise he planned to be that person
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@teacup_giraffe: You go for a run then post your route to Facebook. I dig a hole on that route then cover it with sticks and leaves. We both get exercise.
@nerdreign: Some days it's little things, the tone of his voice or his words when we're alone, that help me realize I'd rather have the insurance money.
@JT_IV_: I hope the people that monitor my sleep study tonight like watching a man scratch his taint.
@KyleMcDowell86: Juror:We find the defendant- *pizza guy bursts in* "Ive got 2 pizzas for Not Guilty" Defendant: Im Not Guilty Judge:NOT GUILTY *bangs gavel*