@fatherofcomedy: My ex was a true professional.she said "you are fired" when we broke up.
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@Kraz60: Of course I believe you are God's gift to women. He gave us periods and painful childbirth. Why not you too?
@markydoodoo: Birthdays were invented by big wax corporations to sell more candles with numbers on them.
@Six_Pack_Mom: Me, to 11 y.o: "You need to apologize to your sister for calling her stupid." 11: "Okkk... I'm sor- wait. Which sister?"