@fatherofcomedy: My ex was a true professional.she said "you are fired" when we broke up.
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@XplodingUnicorn: I follow anyone who has "18+" in their bio. I'm waiting for them to post the second half of the math problem.
@KKBowls: I let a Jehovahs Witness in my home, I sat him down and said, 'what do you have to tell me?' he said, 'I don't know, never made it this far'
@GreenishDuck: Can't believe a woman would grow a life inside of her for 9 months and then name it Ian.
@nicfit75: Fact: Children can hear at a higher frequency than adults. How no one has developed an effective child-repellant yet is beyond me.