@CA_Country: My ex was an absolute treasure and by treasure I mean you'll need a shovel and map to find him.
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@3sunzzz: My doctor said I need to drink more water every day, so I have started putting ice cubes in my vodka.
@thejodiest: Please don't directly insult people on Twitter. Use passive aggressive, indirect insults only, like a damn adult.
@jjhartinger: Co-Worker: You say apparently a lot. Me: Yes, I know. CW: It really bothers me. M: Apparently so. CW: You don't care. M: Apparently not.