@CA_Country: My ex was an absolute treasure and by treasure I mean you'll need a shovel and map to find him.
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@iGreenMonk: I got a dig bick. You that read wrong. That awkward when you read that wrong too. And said 'moment' after awkward. This is awkward.
@randomlawless: Men don't ignore us; they have selective hearing. Give them instructions for roasted turkey & they'll remember "breast, thighs, moist & hot"
@KentWGraham: MARRIAGE TIP: When your wife forgets to set the timer and incinerates dinner, DO NOT whistle “If I Only Had a Brain” from the Wizard of Oz.
@BuckyIsotope: MAMA Be quiet Freddie JUST KILLED A MAN As your lawyer I- PUT A GUN AGAINST HIS HEAD Just- PULLED THE TRIGGER- We plead guilty, Your Honor