@Cpin42: My ex-wife and I broke up over religious differences. I was agnostic and she was Satan.
@bggas400: Who the hell came up with 'prolly' for probably?
@maymay72x: my husband...just pointed out d new strands of hair growing under my chin.....
someones not getn laid tonight.
@liv_thatsme: (My wedding day)
Grandma: You remind me so much of your father
Me: Wow, thanks that means a lot
G: Your father was a disappointment also
@atDevin: I'm putting salt in this mustard and I'm calling it Saline Dijon and you can't stop me
@AllanCresswell: Kanye West can't wait to be the best man at his wedding.