@Parentpains: My ex wife is going through pms, I know this because my car is on fire.
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@ddsmidt: If someone shows up at my house unannounced, I won't open the door. I just stand on the other side of the glass shaking my head no.
@thetigersez: Literally nothing gives me more anxiety than when someone asks me what I like to do for fun.
@jokeymcjokeface: I wonder if people who live on the sun are just as excited about the eclipse as those on earth..