@QwertyJones3: My excitement about your Indian food is largely dependent on your pronunciation of "cumin".
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@PostCultRev: I asked two Uber drivers to pick each other up and am watching them chase each other in circles around my block until they run out of gas.
@Darlainky: Grim Reaper: You know why I'm here. Me: Heavy drinking? Unhealthy diet? Texting and driving? GR: You should've forwarded that chain email.
@putyoursisterd1: 12th Law of Nature: If an adult attempts to nap during the day, an equal and opposite adult will turn on a lawn mower.