@WilliamAder: My existential crisis began when I realized there is no "I" in "me."
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@bobvulfov: FACEBOOK: yo remember ur ex from 2 years ago? look at this photo of u together ME: facebook no FACEBOOK: k heres ur dog who died 5 years ago
@Tommytoughstuff: "DOUG YOU'RE THE NEXT CONTESTANT ON THE PRICE IS RIGHT!" [camera pans to me struggling with Doug for his name tag]
@dafloydsta: WIFE: You promised not to spend the lottery winnings on something stupid ME: *climbing off my new elephant* He has a name, Karen
@daemonic3: Most Well-known Speeches: 1. Gettysburg Address - Abe Lincoln 2. I Have a Dream - Martin Luther King 3. You Need to Floss - Every Dentist