@youngestneil: My extra sensitive toothpaste cries when I don't brush my teeth
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JohnLyonTweets: C'mon, when have I ever let you down? That was rhetorical, actually. Yes, that is a lot. Wow, did not expect you to bring out a chalkboard.
@LazyJ044: Me: *Sweeping* Wife: Excuse me Me: *Slams broom on floor* YOU SHALL NOT PASS Wife: ... Me: That's from lord of Wife: MOVE! Me: *Moves*
@Bluestmoon_: 78% of parenting is spent anxiously praying they don't notice the minuscule lego piece you just vacuumed up.
@phxguy88: I get the feeling some of you have been told by others of you not to talk to me. This means war.