@KPsych29: My eyes physically can't roll any higher up into my skull to show you how annoying you are.
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@Reverend_Scott: [I find a mysterious note in kitchen] "LEAF 1 MILLLION UNMARKD DOG TREETS N BAKYARD BY SONDOWN OR WE RELEASH PICHURES OF U PETTIN A CAT"
@Dildo_Hitler: Bruce Willis reaches for his iPhone but accidentally grabs his iPad and screams because he thinks he's shrunk
@Parkerlawyer: "Why did you leave your last job?" -I had a typo in a tweet. "Mistakes happen!" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. "Thanks for coming in. Bye"