@meganamram: My face is very symmetrical...over the x-axis :(
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@daemonic3: Joined our neighborhood watch program. There's 30 of us though so I only get to wear it like 1 day a month. :(
@thestlouisan: A young cephalopod breaks from the school. Swimming mightily, he strives to avoid becoming calamari. He has [looks at camera] squid goals.
@5hael: My ceiling fan has three setting: - very slow - slow - I'm about to detach from the ceiling and kill you in a freak ceiling fan accident
@KevinFarzad: If you like someone and don't know if they like you, just sue them and then ask them under oath if they think you're cute.