@meganamram: My face is very symmetrical...over the x-axis :(
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@david8hughes: Me: what make of dog is that? Her: breed Me [hands on knees]: I am, I'm just out of breath cos I ran over to ask what make of dog that is
@Lord_Voldemort7: Taylor Swift's ex-boyfriends should band together to create a compilation album entitled "Maybe it's not us, it's you..."
@AdderallMomma: I've been contemplating legally changing my name to 'An End', so that all good things must come to me.