@meganamram: My face is very symmetrical...over the x-axis :(
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@OneLastStranger: Yes, milk from cows tastes nice. But to the person that first found that out..you have issues bro
@Juven_Naidoo: A policeman walks into a bar. The bar is now being charged for assaulting a police officer.
@MartaEffing: I got arrested for being drunk and disorderly, but I was just laughing hysterically at the cost of organic vegetables.
@TheAlexP: Whenever I hear "let me tell you the truth", I secretly cross my fingers, hoping they say "brownies are healthy, eat as many as you want."