@FudgeRobot: My family crest is just a picture of my grandfather dressed up as a giant hotdog being dragged into a cave by a bear.
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@KenJennings: just said "Deep Homo" by accident instead of "Home Depot" & am tryingnto laugh it off oops they're watching me tweet now gotta go
@5oulhealer: My 7yo gave up a simple joke thats good enough 2 laugh at. Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Cause it was stuck on the chicken's foot!
@TheMichaelRock: HR: You can't urinate outside. Me: Then how will we keep the jellyfish away? HR: Can you take a drug test? Me: Nope, I'm all out of urine
@timdonakowski: Don't eat yellow snow. Red snow, on the other hand, is debatable. Could be horrible, could be cherry.