@FudgeRobot: My family crest is just a picture of my grandfather dressed up as a giant hotdog being dragged into a cave by a bear.
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@SatansTongue: *at a concert* ARE YOU GUYS READY TO ROCK (Crowd) "YEAAAAH" LETS DO THIS HIT IT *30 second ad plays first*
@LindaInDisguise: After sitting in the labor and delivery waiting room chairs for 12 hours, I need an epidural as much as those women in labor do.
@KarenKilgariff: When you die, you walk down a tunnel of light and then that sentient paperclip from MS Word pops up and asks you what you want to do next.
@AndyAsAdjective: Truth or dare? -Truth. Ok, go. -I get sexually aroused by ALF. Okaaaay... -Your turn. Truth or dare? Um...dare. -Put on this ALF costume.