@pmclellan: My family doctor says "you really need to lose weight," and my witch doctor says "moh ki kaa raa." I think I'll just moh ki kaa raa tbh.
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@Jesus_M_Christ: That moment when you mom says she was a virgin, but then 3 random dudes show up on your birthday with gifts.
@ThisOneSayz: When you smile and laugh and pretend you heard a word they said. ~ Night club conversations and marriage