@pmclellan: My family doctor says "you really need to lose weight," and my witch doctor says "moh ki kaa raa." I think I'll just moh ki kaa raa tbh.
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@DaleInc: This drink tastes like the neighbors will be hearing late night small arms fire. I swear I just saw a coyote or a squirrel or a tree or a...
@twt_malaysia: 'You'll go to hell for that joke' *in Hell Me: What did you do? Hitler: Genocide, what did you do? Me: Dunno tweeted a joke
@KababPapi: Americans: Muslims are so violent Me: ok but police co- Americans: shut up. Don't judge a group of people based off a select few.
@MarlonBrandNO: Wife: Have you seen my stilettos? Me [6 inches taller and struggling to stand]: Uh *stumble* No