@NervousJr: My family is starting to catch on to my "I died" excuse.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@trevso_electric: Women! Can't live with 'em, can't sell 'em or Liam Neeson will find you and kill you.
@usermcuserface: I don't think I'd be as calm as Billy Joel was in that song if an old man was sitting next to me making love to his tonic and gin.
@AndrewNadeau0: HER: Can I give you my new number? ME: *Eye roll* I REALLY doubt you came up with a number I don't already know.