@heatherlou_: My family keeps bringing up my felony like I'm afraid to commit another one.
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@jordan_stratton: Pretty sure California's water crisis could have been solved with the number of dropped ice cubes that I've lazily kicked under the fridge.
@TheRolo: I tried watching Inception with Twitter on. I still don't know what Juno was doing in their dreams.
@AristotlesNZ: Boss: You're late! You shoulda been here two hours ago! Me: Why? What happened two hours ago?
@TrashCave: 2032:: Scientists force bees and birds to mate, just for kicks. 2033: The Bumblehawks reign supreme.