@heatherlou_: My family keeps bringing up my felony like I'm afraid to commit another one.
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@ChickenFrecklez: Rude coworker said something very dumb & mean to me. She blamed it on pregnancy brain. I asked her if she was having triplets.
@realHamOnWry: My inner child just threatened to call Social Services if I don't eat ice cream for supper tonight.
@notfaizzy: If your surname is Rice and you don't name your kid, Fried then I can never be friends with you.