@Michabean: My family made a pact that I'm the first to be sacrificed in a zombie apocalypse because I'll slow them down. That's my workout motivation.
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@jazmasta: [meeting to name the brownie] "How about baked chocolate cake?" "Nah" "Yummy choccy bake?" "No" Guy who named the orange: I have an idea...
@MUMSIEesq: ME: My husband says you use special traps that put the mice outside to play with their friends EXTERMINATOR [LOOKS AT HUSBAND]: umm, yeaahh
@JhonRules: *dumps Gatorade on an alligator* How does your family taste you green piece of shit
@SardonicTart: Christian Bale has done ok for himself considering he's named after a religious bundle of hay.