@Robert_Beau: My family tree is a cactus, we're all pricks.
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@UGotMeRight: You can catch a decent buzz from smoking catnip but don't be surprised if you wake up on top of the fridge.
@loribuckmajor: Sometimes when my family is especially ungrateful, I don't wash the vegetables when I make their salads.
@Jodesaroo: Forget waterboarding, just put a cold hand on my belly and I'll tell you anything you want to know.
@mjkspeaks: [interview] HIM: have u ever bribed anyone? ME: *pulls a package of OREO's from briefcase and slides across table* depends on who's asking