@kelkulus: My family used to move a lot when I was a kid, but I always found them.
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@darth__mouth: hey teens ! if you think you're angry now, just wait until you have to spend your own money on toilet paper.
@RexHuppke: My favorite part of the Bible is where Jesus gives money to the rich, tells the poor to suck it up and asks for Caesar's birth certificate.
@TrueTorontoGirl: Ironically I’m watching an exercise infomercial because I’m too lazy to get the remote.
@Book_Krazy: [Arrives at work dressed as a sexy kitty] Boss: *points to memo on desk* "It says no Halloween costumes" Me: *slowly pushes memo off desk*