@kelkulus: My family used to move a lot when I was a kid, but I always found them.
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@meganyyb: Hey couples on Facebook that share an account, so which one of you got caught having an affair?
@omgthatspunny: My girlfriend always gets her way by pretending she's sad. She's an expert in sighcology.
@david8hughes: [leans against bus stop as bus approaches & winks at girl waiting] I could easily afford to get on that if I wanted to.
@meganamram: Edison stole the idea for the lightbulb from the lightbulb that appeared above his head when he got the idea for the phonograph