@kelkulus: My family used to move a lot when I was a kid, but I always found them.
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@sammyrhodes: One of the best ways to prepare for marriage is to wait 15 minutes in your car before going anywhere.
@1Bad_Scientist: The Martian, 2015: Matt Damon tries to prove how Irish he is by growing potatoes on Mars then leaving because he's hungry.
@SamGrittner: *job interview* "So this yearbook isn't your resume?" "No. I'm not a moron. Those are my references. I highlighted all the NEVER CHANGE's."
@MatCro: [murder scene] MORGAN FREEMAN: there are 7 deadly sins: Pride, greed, envy, lust, wrath and gl– [sees victim wearing crocs] There are 8 dea