@ericsshadow: My fashion sense has been described as "They probably won't let you in like that" and "Are those your pajamas?"
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@BeTheBoy: The first sign I wasn't going to be a doctor is when I called Anatomy "Skeleton Class." Sign two was failing skeleton class.
@Donna_McCoy: No thanks Black Friday crowds. I do all my Christmas shopping online in a blind panic, as God intended.
@daemonic3: Mr. Trump, what will you do as President? TRUMP: I'll outlaw shredded cheese and only sell blocks Why? TRUMP: To make America grate again
@markleggett: My neighbour has been playing the bongos for over an hour, and I thought he was meditating until I heard him sing "Yeah, shake that shit…"