@OBiiieeee: my father died in a conga line and so shall i
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@Diversion50: I like to imagine the person who originated Head & Shoulders shampoo had really, really hairy shoulders.
@SarcasticAlly12: When friends or family ask me if I'm going to have another baby, I just gesture at the chaos of my life and yell, "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?"
@Ristolable: *agrees with someone online* Yeah, I agree. *disagrees with someone online* YOU'RE NOT JUST WRONG YOU'RE HITLER AND I HATE YOU FOREVER
@adult_mom: I turned off the TV today and made my kids play board games like it was 1955 and now I know why all of our grandparents were alcoholics