@_xLNc: My father once told me, "Son, if you want people to listen to what you have to say, claim it's something your father told you."
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@Parentpains: Apparently, women only enjoy a nice romantic breakfast in bed when they know how you got in their house.
@Cheeseboy22: Sometimes when I'm sitting in a swivel chair, I'll turn around quickly and smile and pretend I'm in the opening credits of a sitcom.
@krisv_723: Birds do it & no one bats an eye. One time I shit on a windshield & suddenly it's arrests & psych evaluations.