@Terdoh: My father put a lot of pressure on me as a child. He used to say stuff like "You're five years old? When I was your age I was six!"
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@cool_as_heck: Boy: I wish more girls liked farming Girl: I like farming Boy: Lol oh yeah? Name the 5 most water-efficient irrigation systems of the 1980s
@itsWillyFerrell: Operator: "9-1-1 please hold..." Me: "Ok. Hey, stop stabbing me for a second." Murderer: "K."
@jonnysun: wat abot when ther was only 1 set of footprints "thats when i carried u" wat abot when the fotprints went in the ocean "i tried to drown u"