@fart: "my favorite bon jovi song? oh its definitely the one where it sounds like a computer is trying to talk while burping"
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@zachreinert03: I think the term copycat serial killer is a bullshit term. They can't kill the same people as the other guy
@Cheeseboy22: Sometimes, during the movie previews, I'll turn to the stranger sitting next to me and whisper, "We should really go see that together."
@amusedkerching: If someone is bothering you with unneccessary calls to your cell number, post their number on eBay with the ad "iPhone 5S for $1 only"