@fart: "my favorite bon jovi song? oh its definitely the one where it sounds like a computer is trying to talk while burping"
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@Illiter8: Only my husband would walk up to my gynecologist in Costco, point at me, give him the two thumbs up while grinning and say, 'Nice one, huh?'
@PaperWash: [1st date] me: are you cold? date: *shivering* a little me: *putting second hoody on* that sucks
@slimmy_shady: My gf told me that I punched her in the face while I was sleeping last night. I apologized because I totally remember being awake for that.