@fart: "my favorite bon jovi song? oh its definitely the one where it sounds like a computer is trying to talk while burping"
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@shutupmikeginn: 'Pampers' is a good product name because it implies being able to poop in your disposable underwear is a great luxury
@ImABaconDonut: Me: Thanks for the sex. Me: You're welcome. Me: Maybe next time we can have another person in the room. Me: That'd be nice.