@LibyaLiberty: My favorite exchange on Twitter today.
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@murrman5: [surgeon in the recovery room] in addition to the hernia we also found $20 in change [me who's always been a good tipper] you're welcome
@Thynebear: Mom I get nervous on dates & always sweat. "Wear something that doesn't show stains" [5 hours later] How was your date? She hated my poncho.
@Pundamentalism: Alligators can live up to 100 years, which is why there's an increased chance that they will see you later.