@amydillon: My favorite game with the kids is one where I play dead until they go around to their dad's side of the bed and wake him up.
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@NicolaJSwinney: Leaflet through the door telling me I can enjoy sex at 75. Which is handy, because I live at number 81.
@ieatanddrink: If a guy wants to call a woman ugly online a window should pop up where he has to upload pictures of all the women he's slept with
@pleatedjeans: [approaches outdoor cafe holding balloon w/face drawn on it] Hello table for two ple- [large gust carries balloon away] OH NO MY WIFE