@bourgeoisalien: My favorite German children's story is that one where some unspeakably terrifying thing happens to teach a minor lesson.
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@tchrquotes: And then one day we decided we were tired of sleeping in and doing whatever we wanted whenever we wanted in a clean house, and we had kids.
@Laser_Cat: God: Build me an ark. Noah: A what? God *pinching his nose*: A big boat. Noah *looking around the desert*: A what?
@robyn_vo: I can't believe I gave him my whole heart and he just shit on it like it was nothing, I hate mennnnever mind, he texted back. False alarm.