@novicefather: My favorite hobby is pretending to be surprised when my credit card is declined.
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@WheelTod: If I was on death row I'd request my own heart as my last meal. But they wouldn't be able to extract it til they killed me: Catch 22. I walk
@G_Faylor: I crash my car. Hundreds of pairs of clean underwear instantly spill from my glove box protecting me from harm.
@E_lok44: The world is so overpopulated, it's getting so a girl can't even find a nice, quiet place to yank out her wedgie.
@Scott_A_Gilmore: 'Kyrgyzstan' is what happens when you've already named all the other countries and you have left over letters.