@novicefather: My favorite hobby is pretending to be surprised when my credit card is declined.
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@Douchekevin: If you ever saw me race to the liquor store 5 mins before it closes, you'd hire me for a getaway driver in a bank heist any day.
@Stellacopter: For fun I like to stir up facebook by just posting, "The funeral will be this Friday"
@_davidlucas_: People who walk while looking at their phones and expect me to get out of the way... LOL.