@jonnysun: my favorite hobby is reading a book by a fireplace in a cabin in the woods. in other words, my favorite hobby is being threatening to trees
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@AndrewNadeau0: MY WIFE:We named you after our favorite songs. You were mine LAYLA: I love that ME: And you mine THEME FROM DUCKTALES: No, yeah, I figured
@david8hughes: [shipwreck diary] Day 32: a plane flew over last night but I fired the only flare on day 5 to celebrate my first solid shit in over a week
@amishschool: My doctor said I can get back to my college weight if I simply go for a brisk three hundred mile walk each morning.