@jonnysun: my favorite hobby is reading a book by a fireplace in a cabin in the woods. in other words, my favorite hobby is being threatening to trees
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@CYComedy: Just had too much fun with a woman who lost her son named "Marco" in the supermarket just now.
@cbdoubleu: Her: I like risk takers Me:[goes to the McDonalds Drive Thru and places a complicated order. Grabs the bag and drives off w/o checking it]
@jumpdashark: My tombstone will read: If You Don't Know Me By Now, You Will Never Ever Ever Know Me.
@bobvulfov: CIA DIRECTOR: if u take this deep undercover assignment, u will have to give up ur own name forever STUART GIGGLEDICK: not an issue, sir