@MauriceBlitz: My favorite kind of math is adding insult to injury.
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@LeBearGirdle: *Paranormal Factivity* [I walk into my bathroom] "OH MY GOD" ['WHALES ARE ACTUALLY MAMMALS' is written in blood on the mirror]
@ThaJawn: *takes a hit off the joint *slowly exhales Ahhhhhh This is the best baked sale ever "It's a BAKE sale" *exhales again Tell me about it
@yoopnative: I'm broke but not "vacuums the air filter* instead of replacing it" broke. *more than twice.
@RealDMK: I think High School birth control classes should just be forcing the students to watch videos of me taking my 3 kids to the grocery store