@desi_princess: My favorite nudes.... Bwahahaha!!
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@Vodkantots: I thought I found my soul mate for a minute there, but he was just a pervert on the internet. *runs after him
@LuvPug: Just pulled into the 'Expecting Mothers' parking spot at Walmart because I'm fully expecting to lose my shit on one of my kids in there.
@kentgrossarth: Me: Nice flowers. Co-worker: They're from my boyfriend. Now I'm going to spend all weekend w/my legs in the air. Me: Don't you have a vase?
@Be___Dope: [text] Her: I picked up buffalo wings. Me: * moves furniture around * rolls out plastic sheeting