@desi_princess: My favorite nudes.... Bwahahaha!!
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@jannable9: *Food arrives* *Waits 3 days* *Slowly takes bite of food* *Waitress appears from under the table in camouflage* HOW IS EVERYTHING??
@bobvulfov: GPS: left—left again—take another left—ur gonna want to take this left—stay left NASCAR DRIVER: why is there a gps in here
@jjax44: It sucks when you & your pal show up at a party wearing the same shirt...and an hour in, his chest hair starts sticking to your back.
@Amazon_Blonde: 911 what is your emergency? Me: "My 6 year old hasn't stopped talking since he got home" 911: "stay calm ma.. Me: MY EARS ARE BLEEDING