@Bearslietoo: My favorite part about being an adult is that my pillow fort now has a mini bar.
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@ComedicBust: Sometimes I'll casually say "what else do you want?" on the phone, so the pizza guy thinks I'm ordering for more than just me.
@bridger_w: I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. "You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"
@amselts: *cleans house while wife's out* W: *walks in* wow babe, thanks so- M: APRIL FOOL'S *runs around making huge mess til it's worse than before*
@SteveSuckington: If a shark attacks you, punch him in the nose. And if that doesn't work, use your severed arm to tickle his belly.