@Swishergirl24: My favorite part about family dinner is when my brother says how he made 600K last year and I get to say someone made a clock of my Avi.
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@treywafer: Her: wanna dance? Me: I'm never gonna dance again Her: why? Me: guilty feet have got no rhythm Her: ? Me: sorry, I'm old...*Fml*
@InternetHippo: "What are you doing, idiot?" – me, to other drivers on the road "What are you doing, idiot?" – me, to myself, in all other situations
@Midgetspar: It's too bad u can't safely fill babies with helium. How cute would that be to look up and see hundreds of floating, chubby, happy, babies.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: "I mean if you do the math the most weight I can really gain from the pound of pumpkin pie I ate tonight is only one pound" I thought fatly.