@Swishergirl24: My favorite part about family dinner is when my brother says how he made 600K last year and I get to say someone made a clock of my Avi.
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@briangaar: Goodnight moon. Goodnight stars. Goodnight 4,000-year-old Earth. Goodnight dinosaur fossils that were put here to test our faith.
@SkinnerSteven: I like my women like I like my coffee, passed through the digestive system of a cat
@SuperApple8: If Ryan Gosling doesn't ask me to be his valentine, I'm moving on. This ship has sailed. This ball has sunk. This fart has flatulated.
@badbanana: Man, the way these journalists are complaining it's like they only went to Sochi to use doorknobs and go poop.