@notalogin: My favorite part of a date is the sweet, seedy flesh. Wait, sorry, that's my favorite part of a fig, I always get figs and dates mixed up.
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@rolldiggity: ME: "This might be a dumb question..." SCIENTIST: "There's no such thing as dumb que--" ME: "Am I a dragon?"
@DevilryFun: HR: Do you use the visualization exercises from the anger management class? Me: Yes, I picture a swarm of bees attacking co-workers.
@Mikecanrant: In Batman Begins, the scene when Bruce Wayne throws the gun into the river, if you listen you can hear someone say "you throw like a girl".