@CulturedRuffian: My favorite part of riding an elevator is staring at my phone while avoiding eye contact with the person I just tried to close the doors on.
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@briancthayer: [Halloween] Lady: what are you this this year? Me: *dressed as a phone battery meter* I'm at 10% and it's only 7pm. Lady: *faints*
@sarcasticmommy4: One of the greatest gifts my kids have given me is my high tolerance for alcohol.
@jackmackenroth: If your phone gets wet, put it in a bag of rice because maybe an Asian will come by and fix it.