@k_lli: My favorite part of the holiday party is getting to meet my coworkers' dates & find out who chooses to put up with these people for free.
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@juanadog: 911: 911, What's your emergency? Me: It's John again. 911: John, seriously!!! Me: I know. I know. Just an ambulance if possible. No cops.
@jaggings: Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I'm very disappointed with all of you.
@WheelTod: [First Date. Full moon] Her: You looked different in your profile picture. Werewolf: I forgot to check the calendar