@k_lli: My favorite part of the holiday party is getting to meet my coworkers' dates & find out who chooses to put up with these people for free.
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@CornOnTheGoblin: cause baby now we've got baaathtubs you know we soaking in maaad suds so take a loofah for baaack scrubs cause baby now we baaathtubs [hey!]
@SortaBad: Dentist: this is gonna hurt a little bit Me: ok Dentist: I've been sleeping with your mom
@MichaelTrying: A couple of weeks ago I replaced my work computer with an aquarium. If anyone asks, I say it's my screensaver.