@k_lli: My favorite part of the holiday party is getting to meet my coworkers' dates & find out who chooses to put up with these people for free.
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@ThaJawn: *googles murder tips *adds "asking for a friend" at the end of each search They won't be able to prove a thing! *evil cackles
@Super_Cynthia: I KEPT MY CAPS LOCK ON WHEN I SEARCHED RECIPES FOR DINNER TONIGHT AND NOW GORDON RAMSEY IS IN MY KITCHEN
@Merman_Melville: Boss: Can you send the documents Me: I am sinking in the muck of a swamp of ancient pain Boss: Ok just don't forget to send the documents
@recoveringbapti: I would like to see more realistic math problems in schools cause there ain't no way some kid has 75 melons without stealing a produce truck