@Donna_McCoy: My favorite part of Zumba is mortgaging my house to pay the chiropractor.
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@POTerritory: Editor: You wrote a play about Victorian England using menstrual blood as ink? Me: Yes, it's a period piece.
@GringoBrulee: HR: Do you know why we called you in here today? Me: I'm not taking off my Batman suit, sir.
@ZAKagan: Me: look at these colorful leaves, fall is so beautiful Leaf: *cough* behold the desolation of my brothers *wheeze* death surrounds us all