@Donna_McCoy: My favorite part of Zumba is mortgaging my house to pay the chiropractor.
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@NamestartswithZ: SCIENTIST: You are my finest creation, and I love you like a son even though you've malfunctioned and now only say- ROBOT: Fight me, dipshit
@SEvans_author: Boss: I'm sorry but you're fired Me: But I've poured my blood, sweat, & tears into my work! Boss: Exactly. Cupcake sales are down 75%
@meganamram: Don't have money for a cab so I keep calling ambulances and telling them I feel better when I'm close to my destination